You’re Not Broken, You’re Empty

In 1983 I got my very first car, a 1978 Pontiac Firebird. I only had it two days before needing to call my parents for help. I sat broken-hearted on Route 70, stalled at a light, as Betsy (that was her name) refused to start again or move. All I could imagine was that my new (to me) car had broken down. However, when my Mother arrived she informed me the car hadn’t broken down but I was out of gas as I’d been running on fumes. It was the first time I’d heard that phrase, but unfortunately not the last.

All Things to All People All the Time

As women there are times that we find ourselves trying to operate from a place of empty. We strive to achieve the ever evasive “work-life balance” we read about in all those self-help books and hear about from the Oprahs and Dr. Phils of the world. Accordingly, we begin to believe we can give our careers 100%, our families 100% and even our friends 100% only to realize there are not enough hours in the day to be all things to all people all the time.

Oh, and, by the way, 100+100+100= 300%. We were simply not created to give 300% so why do we keep striving to achieve an unrealistic definition of perfection?

We allow the world to define who we should be as women, mothers, wives, daughters, and even Christians. Beyond that we forget the importance of spending time with God and making time for ourselves.

So what can we do to make sure we are not running on fumes?

1) Make your relationship with God your number one priority.

If it is not already part of your routine you must be intentional about spending time with your Father. Start your day with a devo, prayer, reading the word, watching or listening to a sermon. Start with Him and ask God to not only guide your steps today, but ask Him to fill you up so you can achieve all that HE needs you to accomplish.

2) Invest in yourself.

I don’t know about you, but I usually make sure everyone around me is good and then if I have the energy or time I might do something for myself. For me the problem was that my daily To-Do List was rarely complete and, since I was at the bottom of that list, well - you know the rest. So what to do? What brings you joy? Reading a good book in the bath, painting, watch a movie, dinner with friends, whatever that is - get it on the schedule, then make it happen. Second, don’t feel guilty about “me time” and don’t let others make you feel guilty about it either.

3) Set realistic goals.

Whether it’s a daily to-do list or that monthly calendar, be realistic about what you can achieve in the given time.

4) Prioritize.

Again, contrary to what we’ve been told, you cant give everything 100%. There will be days where one area is at 20% and another is at 80%. You will need to stay flexible and be open to shifting your priorities along the way.

5) Ask for help.

From your family, friends, or co-workers. If you are feeling overwhelmed or just need a hand, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Despite what the enemy has you believing, it absolutely is not a sign of weakness or failure.

6) Get sleep and REST.

If you don’t know the difference between the two, no worries - we will visit that topic one day soon.

7) Set boundaries.

For others and yourself. Boundaries of how you will be treated, what you will and won’t do, and how you will use your time.

8) Establish a Tribe.

Surround yourself with people who pray with and for you, encourage you, support you, challenge you and remind you of who you are as God’s Daughter.

9) Call on God.

You may not have heard this yet today, but I want to remind you that you can call on God anytime and anyplace you need help. One of the main reasons you may find yourself struggling, exhausted, frustrated, or running on fumes may simply be because you are trying to do it all WITHOUT Him.

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